Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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