just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
