you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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