i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
