i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Floor bacon is actually really good
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
