I'm gonna have a badass scar
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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