..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
