dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
