She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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