Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
