he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
