u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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