Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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