If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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