well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
