yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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