Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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