Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
