He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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