you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
