What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
