whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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