I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
organizing the empties. That sober.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
