I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
