you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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