It's Friday. Sex?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
