finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
