What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
