Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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