At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
