When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
