I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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