btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
