she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
