She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
