I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
