I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
