This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
