Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
wow bdsm is so cute
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
