first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
