I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
