do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
