Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
