if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize