Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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