I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
