ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
