Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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