Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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