My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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