we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
