I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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