i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
