He disabled his match.com account in front of me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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