Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
